Reflection on reflecting :)

By just writing, “I am from”, I thought of my hometown and the hardships and strengths of my family. Upon reflecting I felt a rush of emotions of being proud, missing home, and love. Though sadness was not in my thoughts, the overpowering of my emotions would of caused a tear if I decided to share, because of the love I have for my family. Despite the fact that as a cohort we share race, there are so many underlining details that are critical to defining each and one of us, and within that there is power. That power needs to be translated in the classroom, as even though we are studying how primary codes of power, such as race, impacts the classroom, we can dig much more deeper than that. I like how Hinchey refers to this as the kaleidoscope effect, as each person brings his or her codes of power in an unique combination where the end result is each one of us.

language, identity, feeling disequilibrium

Friday's "I am from..." threw me for a loop. I can relate to Emily's term of "coming undone" and also was so appreciative of those who spoke. I wanted to share but my work wasn't finished. But I was very glad to be able to listen. A little later I realized I was in fact pretty much speechless. Something about the exercise really took me back into a part of myself as a child that I hadn't revisited before. Later after class a bunch of my thoughts came tumbling out to some of our cohort who was still there. I was both very thankful to be able to express it and at the same time a bit embarrassed and humbled. I'm not entirely sure why this exercise seemed to rip me open that way at that time. But I did learn a lot from it.

We have done several reflections in other classes about our own school experiences as children, but when we got to the "I am from" writing, it was like time travel: I remembered suddenly what it was LIKE to be me as a child. I remembered there was a sort of dissonance between who I was inside and the institution/structure of school. And there was a dissonance between what I knew about aspects of my family life (like a fish is swimming in water...I lived in it but could not articulate it or conceptualize it as a child) and what was spoken about. (Thanks Sarah for that great insight.) Thinking about this "flashback" on Friday, and my literal feeling of speechlessness around it, I realized that so much of identity is connected to language. It is about words being spoken that ring true; being able to tell your truth; hearing others' stories; having the language to bridge our individual experiences inside of us to what is outside of us.

I was thinking about the toy exercise and my realization that despite our planning once I saw it in action it was not unfolding how I had pictured. I am taking to heart what was said about keeping in mind the most vulnerable person in the classroom. Between this, all the readings about codes of power and domination, my awareness of my position of privilege, and my emotional response to the writing exercise, I've been feeling anxious about my ability to be the kind of teacher I want to be. And yet, I feel resolve building up in me too. I know I must be feeling this disequilibrium in part because I am learning.

Equity: What are we aiming for, in the big picture? Where is the heart of all this? one piece of the answer from Friday was that each child in our classrooms feel safe, feel valued; that children/people have words to express themselves with so the inner world and the outer world can talk to each other. Over the weekend my thoughts about our class swirled around with thoughts of what happened in Norway. It made me feel that in addition to math and literacy and the arts and all...I wish education as a system also would focus on making sure our children learn how to listen, how to speak, how to be communicate with respect and know each other. While I don't expect to see a standard written up for that one anytime soon, it seems crucial.

I Am From...

Class on Friday was a very powerful experience for me.  I enjoyed sharing a bit of myself with the class.  I did realize that it can be hard sharing something so personal but I felt comfortable in the setting we were in.  I think it's important for our students to feel this way as well when sharing about themselves. Students need to feel safe when sharing something so personal.  The silence spoke a great deal of words.  The silence in the room made me feel a great sense of respect from everybody.  I felt like everybody was listening without judging.  When I was thinking of where I was from, I really had to dig deep. This exercise was harder than I expected it to be.  I have had some of the codes growing up and I think that made my life "easier" in a sense. I kept focusing on negative events in my life, but I realized that where I come from is a combination of many things. I feel really fortuante for my life growing up and realize that all of my experiences, good and bad are what make me who I am. 

I am from....

I echo the thanks to those that were willing to share a piece of them with the class. Thank you to everyone else for listening and keeping the room safe for all of us. At the end of a long week when I was tired and trying to stay engaged, this was a difficult exercise for me. I could hear Emily next to me writing the whole time and found myself staring at my paper. Where am I really from? Sure, I had some thoughts down, but nothing I felt like was worth sharing. But two things to that. The first relates to what Jonah said-The point is not how deep it is or if it makes you cry. The point is self reflection. Should we go deeper? Sure. But an archeologist doesn't dig to the bottom all at once. They go layer by layer to see what's on the way. What's on the surface and middle layers are important, too. Whatever we wrote was still about us, and that is something. The other point was for myself. Brendan and Heather both said something that rung true with me. Brendan said something to the effect of sharing all his secrets but hiding his deepest secrets. Heather said she was an open book but a diary under lock and key. Those both felt so true of me as well, and I would guess many of us. It's so hard to share deeply personal things about ourselves. But it's also hard to think about those things a lot of times. There is a lot that I know I am not letting get up to the surface right now. I don't want to deal with it at the moment. It will come out for me, I can't hide from myself forever. But for now I keep some things under lock and key.

Forced Choice Icebreaker

Sarah Maurer & Katie Wich

ED 561 – Child Development

Ice Breaker

July 20^th, 2011

Forced Choice

We chose this an activity that doesn’t put kids on the spot but still allows children to get to know each other. The answers are already chosen for the students so they don’t have to worry about coming up with an answer, and the scenarios are outrageous and therefore a right or wrong answer can’t really be perceived. The teacher should prepare ten outrageous hypothetical situations. You could make it specific to a unit that your working on such as “under the water” questions or you could make the hypothetical situations completely random.

Tell students that we are going to do an exercise where they choose one situation or the other. Let students know that once they choose which situation they prefer they will move to that side of the room.

Divide the room in half.

Say the hypothetical situations, “Would you rather have a bucket stuck on your foot for a year or a bottle stuck on each one of your fingers for a year.”

Give students time to get to the side of the room that they prefer.

Have students share why or how they made their choice. “Just because,” is an acceptable answer.

Some examples that we used:

1. “Would you rather be invisible or have x-ray vision?”

2. “Would you rather live on the ocean floor or on the moon?

3. “Would you rather be stranded in the desert or in Antarctica?”

4. “Would you rather time travel back in time or into the future?”

5. “Would you rather watch a movie or read a book?”

6. “Would you rather be an alien on earth or a human on another planet?”

7. “Would you rather run as fast as a cheetah or fly?”

8. “If you could only eat one thing for a year would you rather eat pizza or macaroni and cheese?”

9. “Would you rather ride on the back of polar bear or in the pouch of a kangaroo?”

10. “Would you rather have blue skin or rainbow hair?”

Have students ask their own questions!

*After we debriefed this activity some ideas came up. First, some people found this activity a little anxiety producing because they were forced to make a choice on the spot, so keep that in mind if you choose to do this with children (however, the point was made that in life you have to make choices and being comfortable making choices is a skill all children need to learn, food for thought). Secondly, when participants talk about why they made their choice there was some “discrediting” of the other choice. Set clear ground rules before the activity so that participants know not to do this (an idea to have participants explain the benefits of the situation they didn’t choose was also brought up which could be a cool experience.) Lastly, as a variation you could use this activity with serious questions if working with adults on a serious topic.

We personally had a great time with this activity and we hope you did too!

I am from reflection

Honestly... I felt very uncomfortable after Friday's class. It was a pretty intense activity that was only allocated a short period of time at the end of class and therefore couldn't really absorb the full impact of the activity. While I didn't share in this activity I have shared parts of my life in other classes that have led to a breakdown when I wasn't expecting it. Knowing, appreciating, and accepting who I am and where I come from isn't always easy. Understanding myself personally and speaking on it publicly are very different, and I feel like I have to do it on my terms. I didn't share on Friday because of that. However, I can appreciate others willingness to share their experiences. Still I felt like we left with a big elephant in the room - I care about my cohort and not being able to have closure to the activity left me feeling a little frustrated. Because of the personal nature of the activity I didn't feel like I could comfort my peers... something that was difficult for me.

Preparing the workshop for Wednesday class has required me to think about my own experiences of Power and Privilege - much like the I am From poem does. This process has allowed me to think about my experiences personally before relating them to teaching, the classroom, and the cohort. I am excited for this workshop and an additional exercise to think about who we are and where we come from. These are not easy subjects to openly talk about and I appreciate everyone's willing to share, and understanding of some of our hesitations and fears. 

It's funny because I had a hard time starting the "I Am From" writing prompt. It took me some time to get out of my head and really think about the things that make me, me. Once I did get to a deeper place, some things came out that I don't often reflect on. I chose to share on Friday not really feeling like it was a big deal - but as soon as I did, something weird happened to me. I felt completely vulnerable and a huge part of me wanted to take my words back. I wasn't sure how what I shared would be taken - like Paige said, maybe these things that are such a fundamental and complex part of who I am would be misunderstood or looked at as trivial. It left me feeling a little exposed and a little raw.

I was really grateful to the listeners in the room and I know that the listening was done with respect and mutuality. Although I have mixed feelings about sharing, I'm glad I did. I think it is important to feel uncomfortable sometimes and to put your trust into those around you. Sometimes it is your turn to speak and sometimes it's your turn to listen. Both are needed in a community and I'm sure that we will all have plenty of opportunities for both this year.