Whew!

Wow..I was not expecting the last 15 minutes of class on Friday to be so intense! I really admire those who shared a piece of where they are from, I definitely didn't have the composure or the courage to. I think a lot of what we have been talking about in class, about equity and codes of power, hits close to home for me, since when I look at my life I am able to see just how much I have benefitted from the systems at play and the powers that be. I am so grateful for everything I have experienced, but it can be uncomfortable. One of the deepest fears I have is that no matter how much I try to be open and not ignorant, I will always remain a "well-intentioned liberal" in the eyes of people whose backgrounds are different from mine. Especially as we read and discuss in class about the ways that we unknowingly perpetuate harmful stereotypes and notions, it is difficult to see concrete and immediate ways to challenge things I may have internalized about "the way things are." And this makes me anxious! However, I can think of small things I can do to start "knowing what I don't know" right now. The "I am from" exercise is a perfect example. Giving someone else the gift of listening is extremely powerful, both for that person and your-/myself. Listening in respectful silence to some of my cohort members share the pieces that make up who they are not only offered them a cathartic moment but also helped me feel more comfortable with myself in that space. After ten minutes of intense emotions, hearing others' thoughts helped me get out of my head and appreciate the contrasting extremes that everyone feels about aspects of life. I felt more than ever that I was a part of a caring family. True listening is something that takes practice, and I hope to become a better listener this year, both in my LC classes, at Catlin Gabel, and in all of the spaces where I do this crazy thing called life.